


Flowers of Love and Death

by inarizakisimp



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Heartbreak, I Made Myself Cry, Inarizaki, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26475739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inarizakisimp/pseuds/inarizakisimp
Summary: Suna is head over heels in love with his best friend and volleyball teammate, Miya Osamu. But does the latter like him back?WARNING: Please don't read if death caused by any way triggers you!
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	Flowers of Love and Death

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ever work posted on ao3 so i hope you enjoy!! <3

A fool; that’s what he was.

A fool in love. An unrequited one at that. He had been in love with the same guy for two years now. That was 730 days. 17,520 hours that he foolishly spent loving him. He had never actually noticed that he liked the person until as of late last year. When Miya Osamu had embraced him accidentally out of pure joy after winning a volleyball tournament. Poor Suna’s brain and heart started short-circuiting; as if someone had stopped time itself. His brain went haywire and it was as if someone had electrocuted his brain. His heart on the other hand, wouldn’t stop beating like crazy and he was sure that Osamu could hear it, probably even feel it through his own chest. When the two separated from the embrace, a tinge of light pink could be seen on his ears. 

No one knew about his crush on Osamu. He wasn’t technically “close” with anyone in particular. His teammates would either expose his crush or tease him about it. He preferred to keep it to himself although it hurt him. This was the one thing that he never wanted to share with anyone, not even the love of his life. He knew his love would never be returned. Osamu was in love with another who wasn’t Suna. 

“Yo dude, are ya there?” A voice appeared. 

Suna suddenly was brought back to reality. Slowly opening his eyes; he was met with the sight of Osamu’s face up in front of his own. 

“Yeah, I was just thinking about some things.” 

Thinking about you that is. The middle blocker softly sighed and stood up from his desk. It was 12:34 P.M, in the middle of their lunch break. His stomach quietly grumbled and he figured it was around time for him to grab a quick bite from the vending machine.

“If yer gonna go and get some food, bring me back some bread.” Osamu looked up at him and did his usual puppy dog eyes. Give me a break, you know I can’t resist when you do that. Suna sighed once again and flicked the other’s forehead.

“Fine, but this is the last time you hear? And, you’re gonna pay me back. I’m not some loaded rich ass.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks Sunarin, yer the best.” 

Suna left the classroom and began walking through the hallways. The sounds of students laughing and talking amongst themselves could be heard along with his shoes tapping against the floor. A couple of the students waved or greeted him which he responded with a simple nod. He eventually arrived at the vending machines which were at the end of the hallway. Inserting two coins, he pressed the button for cream bread and then for a red bean bun. Again, he began his journey down the hallway but once he got to the classroom door, he saw Osamu flirting with his crush. Upon seeing this sight, his chest started squeezing in on itself. One deep breath in and then go. He stepped inside the classroom and started heading towards his seat. Osamu noticed him and looked in his direction.

“Oi, where’s my bread?”

The dark haired male flung both packages of bread towards the other and put his head down on his desk to rest. The twin caught both in midair and glanced at Suna but decided to not bother him. Suna could hear tiny bits of Osamu flirting with his crush.

“Who let ya walk out the house lookin’ so fine today?” 

“Oh stop it Osamu, I don’t look that good.” The girl blushed and giggled. 

The two continued on for what felt like forever until something happened. 

Suna’s heart once again constricted; but this time, it felt like he was about to have a heart attack. He felt as if he was about to vomit so he quickly rushed to the nearest restroom. Everyone heard the clatter of his chair and spared a single look at the guy before proceeding with whatever they were doing previously. As he rushed to the restroom, he ran into the teacher. 

“Where are you headed to Suna?”

“The infirmary, I don’t feel too well.”

The teacher looked Suna up and down before nodding as a signal that he could go. He muttered a small ‘thank you’ and continued rushing down to the restroom. His chest was causing discomfort and he coughed. There were tiny droplets of blood on his hand. Do I have tuberculosis? But I got my shot. He went into the restroom and banged the door open to the nearest stall and vomited into the porcelain white toilet. Petals of red anemone flowers littered the toilet bowl, along with blood and his breakfast. His breathing was heavy and he felt like he couldn’t get any air in. It was a case of Hanahaki Disease. He wasn’t too familiar with the topic but he did know it was caused by unrequited love. After clicking his tongue and a scoff later, he wiped his mouth with toilet paper and flushed the contents in the toilet down. A sharp pain suddenly coursed through his chest, which then he clutched. This can not be happening right now. It’s just one time. This won’t happen again, right? He quickly washed his hands and then made his way to the infirmary and layed down on the nearest bed. 

“What’s wrong dearie?” The kind elderly nurse asked as she came over to him and sat down next to his bed. 

“Nothing, I-” He was soon cut off by a coughing fit in which more red anemone petals appeared out of his mouth. 

The nurse realized what was going on and softly smiled. She got up and got him a glass of water and helped him sit up to drink it. 

“Feel better now?” 

“A little bit, thank you.” He said graciously and slightly bowed his head. 

“So you’re in an unrequited love huh? Makes me remember my own experience with it from the past. I got the surgery though.” She sighed as the nostalgia came over her. 

Hearing that, Suna was quite shocked. There was someone this close that experienced the same thing he’s experiencing? 

“Excuse me but, don’t you lose your memories after the operation?”

She smiled at him. 

“I kept a diary as a young girl and wrote about my love. How I was to go through surgery for it because my feelings were never reciprocated. One I was discharged from the hospital, I read the diary and was grateful that I went through that whole ordeal even if it did cause a lot of pain. He had shown me new things about the world, and taught me many things. For that, I will be forever grateful.” 

Suna was absolutely astonished. She felt grateful? Even though it had caused pain? What a weird person. But he also related to her on some levels. Osamu had also shown him how beautiful life could really be. He felt grateful for the fact that he had become friends with the grey haired twin. To be honest, if Osamu wasn’t in his life, he probably would’ve never had so much fun like he does every day. 

“I suggest keeping a diary too or something of the sort. It’ll give you something to reminisce about later in your future.” 

He simply nodded and then pondered on a thought before a coughing fit came about once more. He did his best to contain the contents of the cough in his hand, but some blood and petals escaped through his fingers. The nurse handed him a napkin which he said a small ‘thank you’ for and then sipped some on some water to try and ease his burning throat. 

“Uh, do you mind.. if I come back and talk to you again?” Suna hesitantly asked.

The old lady smiled with crinkles next to her eyes and nodded.

“Of course dearie. Anytime.”

And with that, he had found his one and only confidant. 

\--------------------------------------------------------

Later that day, with his throbbing chest, he decided to skip the rest of his classes along with volleyball practice and head to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, he sent only his captain, Kita Shinsuke, a text saying that he wasn’t feeling too well.

[ To: Cappy Kita ]

Suna: I won’t be there at today’s practice. I’m not feeling too well and doing what you would want me to do. 

Cappy Kita: Alright, I’ll let the others know. Take it easy and remember to take care of yourself.

Suna: Roger that captain.

It was only around three o’clock, meaning that volleyball practice was starting in around half an hour. Suna sighed and trudged his way to the hospital as he coughed out small petals along the way.

Once making it to the front of the hospital, he started hesitating on whether or not this was a good idea. What if the doctors made fun of him? What if they laughed about his situation? Saying that it was all just a delusion? No, I can’t afford to waste time. I need to get officially diagnosed. One deep breath in later, he was inside the building. 

The receptionist glanced at him and proceeded to ask him the basic questions.

“Name and birth date?”

“Suna Rintarou. January 25th, 1996.” 

“Reason for visit?”

“Hanahaki disease.” 

She handed him a ticket and told him to wait in the lobby. 

He thanked her and sat down at one of the corner seats. His chest was still throbbing in pain but he put on his headphones as a way to distract himself from the pain. Thankfully, he wasn’t having any major coughing fits and still was only coughing out small petals. Ten minutes soon passed by and his number and name was called. Suna got out of his seat and followed the doctor into one of the rooms. 

“So you’re in here for Hanahaki?”

He nodded.

“I see. Can you tell me your symptoms, young man?”

“My chest is constantly throbbing in pain and I’ve been coughing out blood along with red anemone flower petals.”

“How long has this been going on?” 

“The coughing just started today but I officially recognized my feelings around late last year.” He slightly coughed and a couple petals were revealed on his hand.

“Ah, that makes sense. It takes a while for the disease to first appear but it’s rare for it to take so long. Seems like you’re in the early stages. But, it does develop quite quickly, and seeing that you’ve had feelings for this person for this long, you’ll most likely pass away in a couple months.” 

What? A couple months? That seemed way too soon. Was this disease really that terminal? 

The doctor smiled sadly. This poor kid was too young to die so soon. He had seen death one too many times and didn’t wish it on him. 

“I- Is there any way to get rid of the disease?” 

“There’s surgery, but that becomes more difficult the longer we wait and then there’s the ideal solution: your love becomes requited. If you choose to get surgery, just be warned that you won’t be able to ever love again. You’ll lose all memories of the time you loved the person and forget that you ever liked them in the first place.” 

Silence. Complete silence filled the room. If anything, it’d be a miracle if Suna’s brain was even functioning right now. He was drawing complete blanks and was honestly just shocked. He didn’t want to lose the memories but he also didn’t want to die at such a young age either. The doctor noticed the worry in Suna’s face and coughed slightly, bringing Suna’s thoughts back. 

“I’ll let you hold onto the idea of surgery for a while longer and prescribe you some medicine to make the pain slightly more tolerable. Come back every week so I can see how you’re doing.” 

“Thank you.”

\--------------------------------------------------------

During Suna’s visit to the hospital, his volleyball team aside from Kita were shocked that Suna hadn’t come.

“Yo Kita, where’s Sunarin?” Osamu asked.

“He called in sick today. Said that he wasn’t feeling too well.” Kita said while preparing the nets with Aran. 

“Really? He looked fine to me when I saw him earlier.” Osamu commented. 

“Maybe ya didn’t notice cuz yer always too busy flirtin’ with that crush of yours.” Atsumu, Osamu’s twin yelled. 

Osamu slapped the back of the other twin’s head and muttered ‘dumbass’. Atsumu snorted and moved on with what he was doing knowing he was right. Captain Kita glared at the two and was about to lecture them until Aran placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head as a sign to let it go. It would happen again anyway. Kita simply sighed and went to go and get the practice equipment. 

Atsumu may be a dumbass and be stuck up, but he wasn’t blind. The way Suna looked at his dumbass of a brother. The way his eyes always seemed to follow Osamu wherever he went. The way his eyes always sought him out whenever those two were in the same room. It was obvious that Suna had a crush on Osamu. But of course, Osamu was blinded by his crush and was completely oblivious to everything. Atsumu sighed and decided he was going to let things roll on their own. He wasn’t going to step in unless something happened, requiring him to. 

Practice went on as usual, the twins constantly bickering about who was better at what, Kita lecturing them, and the rest of the team sighing as they watched. 

\--------------------------------------------------------

As the days went by, Suna went to see the elderly school nurse every day, talking about his day, and how he was doing, and about life. She would give him advice, and talk about her own life experiences and what he should learn from them. But he was also getting worse as each day passed. Looking paler and thinner each day thanks to the disease, he developed dark bags under his eyes. He was also now coughing out red anemone buds and hundreds of petals on a daily basis. Every day he had to live with the feeling of being suffocated as he watched the love of his life flirt with his crush. Attending school and volleyball practice became harder than ever with the now weak body of his. 

Medicine was no longer helping. The doctor was now becoming more and more desperate for Suna to receive surgery, which he refused. He’d rather deteriorate than ever get rid of his feelings for Osamu. His parents never noticed a thing, as they were too busy with their own work to pay attention to their own kid. Suna didn’t want to bother them either because frankly, he didn’t care what they did with their life as long as they didn’t bother and involve him. A couple people were noticing the changes in Suna though, those being Kita and Atsumu. 

“Are you doing alright Suna?” Kita questioned one day during practice. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Maybe cuz ya look like utter shit Sun-Sun.” Atsumu chimed in. Kita glared at the twin.

“Shut up. I didn’t ask for your opinion.” 

Osamu was looking in their direction and was about to head over to them until he noticed his crush in the doorway of the gym. She slightly waved at him and blushed. His lips curved into a wide grin, as he ran over to her. Suna, watching this interaction, felt like he was drowning. Lungs drowning in the flowers that were filling the organs up with lovely red petals. His hand moved to clutch the area against his heart, as he felt a violent coughing fit coming. Running past the two that were flirting in the doorway, his hazel irises were met with dark grey ones. He left his team in confusion.

“What the..?” Osamu was puzzled. Why had Suna run out like that?

“That idiot.” Atsumu growled and ran after the middle blocker who had run out, Kita being quick to follow too.

Everyone was deeply confused.

Trying his best to contain the buds, petals and blood in his hands and mouth, he rushed into a nearby area where there were no students around. 

Coughing out various forms of the flower and red liquid, he wasn’t able to hear the footsteps approaching him. Kita and Atsumu were coming up behind him and noticed the pile of petals and blood on the ground in front of him. 

“Suna…” Kita whispered.

Shit. The last thing he wanted to happen was other people finding out about this. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he turned around to face the two. 

“Yeah, I have Hanahaki like you two are probably thinking right now. I’ve had it for a while now.” More red anemone buds and petals fell out of his mouth as his body shook from the violent coughing fits. 

“Didn’t ya think to tell anyone about this?! What’s that lump of mush in yer head doing if anythin’?!” The yellow haired twin yelled. 

“Why would I tell people when it’s not their problem?! It’s mine, and mine alone. So go away and leave me alone.” 

“As much as I’d like to leave you alone, I can’t do that. I may not know how exactly you’re suffering but I’d like to support you through this.” Of course Kita wasn’t going to leave Suna alone. He was the righteous captain, full of integrity. He cared deeply about his teammates just like a good captain would. 

Suna really didn’t have any choice. He knew Kita wouldn’t let him be and Atsumu being the nosy ass he is, wouldn’t stop bothering him so he sighed and mumbled ‘fine’ under his breath. Atsumu pumped his fist into the air and shouted a very loud ‘yes’ while Kita smiled in relief. 

“First things first, we’re accompanying you to the hospital. Get cleaned up and then join us back in the gym.” 

Suna huffed. 

\--------------------------------------------------------

Once he returned to the gym, he could hear loud cheering from inside. Was it someone’s birthday today? He couldn’t remember if it was. As he stepped inside, he noticed the previous flirting pair were now holding hands while Osamu was sheepishly rubbing the back of his head and the girl next to him was profusely red in the cheeks. 

Oh.

Of course it happened.

Why wouldn’t it? The two had been flirting 24/7 so it was bound to happen eventually. He had accepted that fact.

Then why was Suna’s chest feeling like it was about to explode? As if the flowers were going to erupt out of his chest? Is this what heartache feels like? It felt as if the flower roots were moving to his heart and strangling the life out of it. His throat started feeling full of more flowers once again. 

“Hey Sunarin! I finally got myself a girlfriend! Sorry I got one first.” Osamu grinned brightly and stuck his tongue out at Suna. 

He’s shining as brightly as the sun. 

All Suna could do was ignore the pain that was occurring in his body and congratulate the two. 

“Congratulations. You better watch out though, or else your ass might get dumped.” He weakly smiled then grimaced in pain. Atsumu ran at what seemed like the speed of light to his side to make sure he was okay. He meekly nodded. Kita hurriedly started cleaning up the gym and told the others to help as well. 

“Woah dude, are ya feelin’ alright? Ya look like yer constipated.” Osamu commented. 

“So what if I am constipated. Just go be sappy with your girlfriend and let me go take a dump. A fat one at that.” Everyone in the gym snickered. 

Atsumu and Kita nodded at each other, Kita motioning for Atsumu to take Suna out of the gym before everyone else figured out what was going on. Kita would follow them as soon as he was done cleaning up the equipment which wouldn’t take that long.

The yellow haired twin led Suna out of the gym, leading him towards the nearest restroom so he could get cleaned up while also texting Kita the location. Once they got to the restroom, Suna immediately got onto the ground, the cold white tiles of the restroom hitting his knees, and started throwing up into the toilet. Gripping the sides of the toilet, he heaved. There was a huge lump in his throat and he wasn’t able to breathe properly. His breaths were irregular, until finally, Suna was able to get whatever was stuck in his throat out. As he glanced down at the toilet bowl, his eyes widened in shock. The red anemones were now in full bloom.  
Kita appeared in the restroom not too long after and looked at Suna. There he was, teary eyed and lips tinted with blood, surrounded by petals and red anemone flowers. The sight would’ve been quite pretty, if not for the fact that it was in a restroom stall and that Suna was suffering. 

“Let’s head to the hospital now.” 

\--------------------------------------------------------

On their way to the hospital, Kita had somehow obtained a disposable vomit bag from the infirmary to give to Suna. They arrived at the hospital ten minutes later, thanks to them getting a taxi instead of going by train. Suna had managed to only vomit twice during their trip. 

As soon as they got out of the taxi, they ran, with Kita and Atsumu on either side of Suna, as they hauled him inside the building. Explaining the situation to the receptionist, Suna was able to get seen immediately after. The same doctor that was doing weekly checkups on Suna came in and examined the contents in the vomit bag. A grave look was marred all over his features as he shook his head and prepared to tell the kids the truth. 

“I’m sorry kid. You only have about a week to live now.” 

The news shook the two that weren’t involved while Suna was already accepting the fact. He knew he didn’t have much longer to live. Look at him, he had already lost a ton of weight, bordering on the line of being unhealthily underweight, had the darkest eyebags anyone could have from his insomnia, and was looking paler by the day. He looked like someone who’s been sick for years, and not for a couple months. 

“Have you made up your mind kid? Will you agree to having the surgery now?”

Suna slowly shook his head and gave a weak smile. It wouldn’t be worth it to get the surgery. The doctor looked at him with pity and nodded. He had known from the start that Suna wouldn’t agree to the surgery no matter what. This was how it was with most people who got the disease. They’d rather die than forget. 

The three of them exited the building, silence filling the air. Suddenly, Atsumu grabbed Suna by the shoulders and yelled. 

“Why won’t ya get the surgery huh?! Would ya rather be in pain and then fucking DIE?!?!” 

The twin was becoming desperate. Sure he wasn’t the best of friends with Suna but he sure as hell didn’t want him to die. 

Suna’s shoulders trembled. His entire frame was trembling. He had grown to be so weak. Both mentally and physically. He wasn’t afraid of death. He couldn’t. 

“DO YA REALLY LOVE MY SHITTY ASS BROTHER THAT MUCH THAT YOU’D RATHER DIE?” 

“You..” Suna mumbled. 

“I WHAT?”

“You wouldn’t understand! I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t love the one I love! Where I can’t love him! All my feelings, the memories! He’s the one who made me who I am today! I love him with every goddamn fiber of my being and I can’t stop it! I’d even sell my soul to see him smile even once. He’s the only one who I feel comfortable with, the one who made me feel at home.” He sobbed out. “I feel so safe and secure with him. I feel like I’m drunk, drunk on him. I feel giddy every day even if it’s just the same old routine. He’s the one who made me feel like I was at the top of the world. Like I was truly living!” 

He continued. Kita and Atsumu were stunned into silence.

“Yeah, he’s also the person who’s tearing my heart into tiny little pieces; shredding it apart like you would with paper. I want nothing else but for him to be happy but then, what am I supposed to do? He looks so goddamn happy with her and I’m sure as hell not going to ruin that just because of this. Even though he's the one who brought joy and life into my previous dull, boring life. Even though he’s the one who brought color into it. Even though he was the one that gave me my life. I’m not going to ruin his happiness. I may not be able to control this disease, but I’m not getting rid of my feelings for him. I’d rather DIE than go through with surgery to get rid of them.” 

Atsumu slowly loosened his grip on Suna, looking towards the ground now. His words couldn’t stop Suna’s decision and they never would. Kita put his hand on Atsumu’s shoulder and shook his head. This was Suna’s life, and his decision to make. The only thing the two of them could do was support him through it and be there for him. 

“Fine. If ya really wanna die so badly then so be it.” Atsumu spat at the ground then started walking away. Kita followed soon afterwards, only after making sure Suna could get home alright on his own.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Love.

Love was a fickle thing. 

It could make someone so immensely happy that they could burst or it could outright kill the person. 

The latter was the situation for Suna. He fell into a state of depression, no longer wanting to do anything, even eat or drink. Moving felt like a pain in the ass. He could barely even get out of bed. His heart was convulsing 24/7, causing dull sharp pain to occur throughout his body. His throat was all raspy from the coughing and his lips were chapped and tinted in blood. He stopped going to school too, giving the excuse that he was sick. Two days had already passed since the hospital visit. He now only had around five days to live. 120 more hours of simply existing, and then, it would end. He’d move on to the next world, or whatever happened after people died. 

Few people had bothered to check in on him, those being Atsumu and Kita. They came every day after school, with food and games. Osamu originally wanted to too, but Suna had texted him not to, mentioning that it was just a cold and that it wasn’t a big deal. He was looking more sickly than ever, looking as pale as a sheet of paper with horrid looking eyebags that looked like they could be used as pockets. His arms and legs were becoming stick-thin due to the weight loss. Kita would’ve usually lectured him to eat but he couldn’t find it in himself to do that with this situation. Atsumu was usually bright and cheerful, always finding some way to interject self-praise, but now he was worried about his friend. This wasn’t like him, but what else could he do? 

Suna no longer had a will to live. To be quite frank, he was truly dead from the inside. He no longer laughed or smiled. His eyes were dull, no longer filled with the light it used to contain. His friends did everything they could do to cheer him up, but it was useless. Their voices were muffled the moment they entered his ears. He couldn’t hear them. 

At three in the afternoon, on the second to last day before death arrived, he chose to write a letter. It wasn’t to anyone in particular, but at the same time, it was to everyone who had entered his life in some way. The moment he finished, he slowly moved to the bathroom, coughing as he did, to use it for the final time. He vomited up fully bloomed red anemones, into the toilet as he did on a daily basis. He flushed them down soon after, hoisting himself up onto his feet with what leftover muscles he had left. Grabbing the letter, he moved towards the door. 

Leaving the letter on the doorstep, he left. Walking ever so slowly towards his destination, he took in deep breaths of the fresh air. Students were walking past him, as school had just ended. 

Atsumu was walking towards Suna’s house, as he always did. This time, he was alone though. Kita had to help his grandmother out with some things so he left Atsumu to take care of Suna for today. As he was walking, he swore he could’ve seen someone who looked exactly like Suna walking towards the school. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head. It couldn’t have been Suna, he had no motivation to do anything. 

The moment he arrived at Suna’s place, he noticed a white envelope on the doormat. I probably shouldn’t open this. What if it’s for his parents? Upon closer inspection, he realized that it wasn’t addressed to anyone. His gut told him to open it, and so, he did. 

As he read it, tears fell out of his eyes and his hands started to shake. Dropping his bag, he ran. He ran towards his house, where the person who caused all of this to happen would be. 

Breathing heavily, he slammed the door open to his brother’s room the moment he got there. 

“Piss off. Haven’t I told ya to knock before comin’ in?” Osamu grumbled. 

Osamu’s right cheek was quickly met with Atsumu’s fist.

“Why the fu-” He was cut off by Atsumu. 

“YA FUCKING DUMBASS! Do ya not realize that yer best goddamn friend is about to die?! Are ya so obsessed over that fake ass girlfriend of yers that ya decided to completely forget about your best friend?! He’s been livin’ everyday like he’s in hell; losin’ weight and sleep and god knows what else and here ya were, not even carin’ about what was goin’ on in his life. HE LOOKS LIKE A DEAD FUCKING PERSON. WHILE YER GOIN’ AROUND BEIN’ ALL JOLLY WITH YER GIRLFRIEND. BUT ARE YA TRULY HAPPY BEIN’ WITH HER? CUZ IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YER FAKIN’ IT.”

Was he truly happy? He couldn’t really say. He did like being with the girl, but not as much as he enjoyed hanging out with Suna. His heart always fluttered when he was around the other, but he chose to ignore it, blaming it on the weather or something silly. Thinking about it now, he was just choosing to run away from who he truly was. His internalized homophobia was the battle he never chose to face. He wasn’t like Atsumu; being able to be confident about his sexuality and openly pining over someone the same gender as him. Being gay still wasn’t widely accepted and he was afraid. Afraid of being shunned by society and the people around him. 

Atsumu thrusted the letter at his twin telling him to quickly read it, tear streaks clearly visible on his cheeks. Osamu opened the letter and read --

Dear no one in particular, 

I’ve lived a good life. It wasn’t very exciting but it was pleasant. With the exception of these past few months of course. I got to become friends with people, join the volleyball team, and even fall in love. I don’t regret falling in love, even if it’s what’s causing my demise in the end. I’m grateful that I was able to love him for the time that I was alive and that I got to become so close to him. I really did love you Osamu, and I still do. I always acted like I hated you telling me to get you snacks, but the truth was, I didn’t mind at all. I knew what foods you liked and didn’t which made me happy. I loved the way you laughed, like you didn’t have a care in the world. The way you always lit up the room, no matter how dull it was. You were the sun to my dark world. So thank you. Thanks for giving me the chance to love you. And to the old grannie in the infirmary, thank you for hearing me out and being my friend throughout this whole process. It was really lovely drinking tea with you and talking about nothing in particular. And to Kita and Atsumu, who wouldn’t leave me alone once they found out. Thanks. I appreciate you guys caring for me and trying to cheer me up. I’ve decided that I’ve lived a long enough life and since I’m going to die tomorrow anyway, I’m going to go my own way. Thank you for being in my life.  
\-- Suna

No.

No.

This couldn’t be happening.

Suna was going to die?

Since when? 

Tears were overflowing from his grey eyes. 

No, this isn’t the time to think right now. I need to go find him. 

“Do ya know where he was headin’ towards?”

“Pretty sure I saw him goin’ towards the school.”

Osamu wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and dashed out the front door.

“GO HAUL ASS OSAMU!” 

He was going to where Suna was. To finally end this once and for all. 

\--------------------------------------------------------

Suna finally arrived at his destination. The rooftop of the school. Facing the alley where no one went, he started coughing once again. Red anemones and petals fell out of his mouth and surrounded his frail body on the ground of the rooftop. 

He took a deep breath as he thought about his life before he made his final decision. Memories of him growing up and becoming the person he was to slowly falling in love with Osamu were passing him by. The breeze started slapping against his face, as if it was telling him to stop and turn back. Tears were streaming down the male’s face, dripping down and creating a small puddle at his feet, watering the flowers beneath him. 

The grey haired twin ran as fast as he could. He ran like he’s never done before. He spotted a person’s silhouette on the roof and quickly ran inside the school to head up to the rooftop. 

Footsteps were getting closer as the clanging against the metal stairs were echoing loudly. Osamu was becoming more desperate as each second passed; he didn’t want to lose Suna. Not just because he didn’t want to lose his best friend, but because he also didn’t want to lose him out of all people. He had just begun realizing his own feelings after ‘Tsumu had said something about Suna liking him. 

The moment he opened the door, he was met with a sight so painstakingly beautiful. The red and orange hues of the sunset surrounding the dark haired male, with red anemones and red liquid all around him. It was as if it had come out of a painting. 

“Sunarin!” Osamu yelled breathily. 

Suna turned around with a small genuine smile on his face. For the last time, he whispered the words. 

“Thank you Osamu.” 

With that, he jumped off the rooftop to his death. 

“N-no..”

This couldn’t be.

He wasn’t dead? Right? This was just a nightmare. The moment Osamu woke up, this would be all over. Right?

Osamu dragged his body over to the ledge and glanced down at the lifeless body below. 

And he screamed.


End file.
